The other weekend me and my partner had a weekend free to just be with each other and not be the social butterflies we’ve recently turned in to. We went to the cinema to watch Venom (which is really good by the way!), got McDonald’s, then drove to the beach to watch a rain storm over the harbour. For such a simple evening, it turned out to be one of the best dates we’ve ever had, it really solidified how happy we both our in our relationship and how ready we are to make a life for our own next year.
It’s not always been this easy in our past relationships, or even in our current relationship for that matter, but I feel like we have found the right formula to a happy and healthy relationship. So here’s my tips for a long lasting, happy relationship!
Take time to spend separately:
As lovely as it is to see your partner all the time, it is healthy to have some alone time. If your relationship consumes your life then there is no space left for you time, friend time or family time. Also if you spend 24/7 with someone, what the bloody hell do you talk about?!
Be each other’s best friend:
This is a huge one for me as I very much consider my partner to be one of my best friends. If one of you needs some cheering up, be there to comfort them when no-one else can, have a laugh and talk openly like you do with your separate friends, have inside jokes and expressions that only you two know about.
Talk about problems:
Too many relationships fail as people don’t talk about their thoughts and feelings. Understandably it’s sometimes super tough to talk about the problems in our lives and relationships, but it can all be sorted out so quickly if you just take the time to sit down, one on one, and talk everything through. I’m not going to lie, me and my partner have done this a few times when the relationship had hit a sour note or it was more stress than fun. It really helped though and all the tension we were both feeling went away after we had a good heart to heart and cry about everything.
Make an effort:
It’s so easy to get content in a relationship and not put any effort in, we all get caught up in day to day routines. What really helps is making an effort to make the relationship fun and fulfilling for both parties: go watch the film your partner has been raving about for months, if they are feeling ill bring them some tasty cough sweets and a new, warm blanket, make them something truly unique and special for birthdays, do a monthly date night.. the list goes on!
Discuss the future – but don’t rush in to it!:
Once you’ve been in a relationship for a couple of years it’s always a good time to discuss what you want from the relationship in the future. Would you both rather rent or buy a house first? Where would you like to live and when would you like to move out? Is marriage an option? Would you both want to go travelling before settling down? Many questions, but it’s always good to know where you stand.
You don’t have to have the same values, but it helps:
It’s not always a deal breaker. I know couples that have totally different views on a lot of subjects who are stupidly happy, but for me, similar values has always been something I look for in a relationship. In some of my past relationships the different values caused a massive riff and I even got dumped.. twice, for not wanting to get married and have kids young like my boyfriend at the time did (you live and you learn). I’m lucky me and my current partner have similar views on religion, marriage, children, life, pet hates etc. We don’t always agree on some stuff but we’ve figured out a good compromise.
Jealousy needs to disappear:
Another reason why relationships tend to hit the rocks – the dreaded green eyed beast. Everyone gets a tad jealous to an extent, whether that’s from insecurities or envy for what other people have.. it’s inevitable. However it is silly to let insecurities get in the way of a perfectly good relationship, talk to your partner about any doubts, thoughts and feelings you may be experiencing. If your partner is a good person they will try to help you through whatever you are feeling.. if they are purposely trying to make you jealous then get rid, you don’t need that kind of person in your life.