“You can’t love someone until you love yourself”.
Be real with me. Does this sentence make your eyes roll into the back of your head like it does me?
In my experience, love is what made me accept myself. If it wasn’t for my current relationship, I would probably not have the confidence or motivation to do what I do or even start to work on my mental health.
Before I even started a relationship with my current boyfriend, I had just come out of another quite hard breakup. It was my fault it ended so badly, I shouldn’t have even been with this person in the first place as there was warning signs at the beginning of that relationship.. but that’s a story for another time! I felt fragile, alone and pretty undesirable as all my relationships up to that point had failed miserably. Getting in to my current relationship was a huge risk, I was one bad life choice away from a mental breakdown at that point… but you know what? My life changed and became increasingly better over the next 3 and a half years.
Every misconception I had about relationships changed. Neither of us jumped ship when the going got tough, we were there for each other through each other’s periods of depression and we’ve started to set up a life that past me was dreaming of. It’s obviously still a work in progress, but we are both happy and I wouldn’t have had this life if I listened to that stupid quote above.
Not everyone can love themselves, no matter how many times you tell yourself nice things in the mirror, it just doesn’t always completely click… and that’s okay! The first step to self acceptance is just that, acceptance. I still can’t say I love myself, it’s going to be a life long work in progress, but I accept my body and thank it for housing my soul, and letting me live life. It’s always better to think of yourself as ‘alright’ than to hate yourself entirely.
Obviously it’s always hard on the other person when you struggle to even accept yourself, I still find some eating situations hard and it bugs my partner to no end. But he’s learning to help and I’m learning to sort it out. It’s better to work as a team to battle a problem then to deal with it on your own.
All in all, this little rant was basically advising anyone reading this to never, EVER, let some random quote on the internet dictate your life, you know what is best for you.. and you never know, going against what is said to you may be the best thing you ever did.